“I’m just really inconsistent.”

It’s something I hear a lot from clients. It’s something I’ve thought myself, even.

Clients describe days where they can focus, follow things through and get things done, and other days where even starting feels impossible.

For a long time, many of them, like myself, have assumed or been told it’s a discipline problem. But when we look more closely, it usually isn’t.

It’s the environment. How clear something is. How many steps it takes to start. How much noise, pressure, or support is around them.

The “consistent” version of us is there. It just shows up in the right conditions.

As a therapist, this is what I want for my clients: less self-blame, and more understanding of what actually helps.

A more helpful question than “What’s wrong with me?” is: “What conditions help me work at my best?”

Is it where you physically are? Some people work better in a coffee shop, others in silence. Is it what’s visible around you? Do you need comfort, or a less busy environment? Do you need to break things into smaller steps? Would a body double or a timer help you get started?

Sometimes when conditions change, behaviour does too.